No Resets, No Time-machines

One of the biggest mistakes I've made in my life is subconsciously playing through it like a game. And most of the time I keep forgetting that there is no reset button.. No time machine to go back and start over again from the mistakes you've made. My friendship problems in Manchester only continue to pursue despite making some progress. Well, a progress with did not change the overall result though. Dropping down my pride and trying to humble myself, I confronted her and we talked. Explaining all the misunderstandings we had towards each other. But then hoping that we continue to be friends again turned out to be just a delusion. Perhaps we aren't as cold to each other now, so far as observed these few days.. But we still do things separately. We walk the same road home, we go to the same class, and we have the same class schedule. But even yesterday, we still go home separately, we seat different tables in the cafeteria, we seat at far ends of every class. She keeps reminding me that I think too much and I'm too sensitive and she's right to an extent.. But I can't help thinking that she isn't really willing to open any doors to me yet, perhaps even never considering we have only limited time left to continue being in the same class.
At the same time, learning from this incident I've decided to mend up some old wounds. Besides Qing in class, there was like I think 3 others who I ended on bad terms with in the past. Ironically all were girls and 1 of them I've completely lost contact with for at least 5 years but I don't think I will want to go through the trouble reestablishing contact with her all of a sudden since I don't think I'll ever bump into her again. The other was my ex who considering she's become a mother now, I don't think I have the emotional resilience to confront her ever again. So the only one left was Jeslyn, who we left on bad terms for (I'm shameful to say) menial reasons. Also considering she's probably like only 30 minutes away from me in the same city halfway across the globe, I thought it is only right to reconcile with her. And so I did. Perhaps that was the only good thing that's happening so far this past few weeks. We made up and looked forward to some outing sometime soon hopefully, but I understand she needs to focus on the job opportunity at hand first.
For a long time I arrogantly thought to myself that I was smart and intelligent without need to declare it. How wrong I was because the truth was that I was merely being sensitive and making a fool of myself babbling the "wisdom" that comes out of my mouth. It became a plague that corrupted my subconscious mind and it became a habit that I fail to see without looking in the mirror but obvious to those who see it. That was my bigger mistake, to arrogantly argue with the comments people were trying to point to me, to help me. And I turned my back to them and there goes 1 good friend gone for a long time.
I try to manage this going through my studies and just pass for the masters I seek to obtain by coming here. I'm well aware my graduation takes priority in this 2 years, but I'll be lying if I said this social defect wouldn't influence my performance and grades. Of course I try to do this as maturely as possible to not let it affect me, but it's hard.
Usually at times like is i would say "God I hope everything will be better soon" but the fact that I lost faith in Him still remains. I would just be lying to myself even if I say I believe in Him and trust he would take care of things for me. I just couldn't. Not after how he dealt with trust.